Say Goodbye to Disrespect

"You can't make me!"

"I don't need another lecture right now!"

"Why do you always make my life so hard?"

Does your older child ever use strong phrases like these with you?

Or does your child just hole up in their room with their phone and their screen and ignore you when you talk to them?

In this blog post, we're going to talk about why your child is being so disrespectful so that you'll be able to  manage it much better and completely change your home!

Parents all over the world are dumb-founded that their children are speaking to them so disrespectfully so often these days.   It's mind boggling to have their child be so openly rude because they feel like if they were to ever do that when they were young, they would have been slapped across the face or grounded for 2 years.

And neither of those feel like viable options for any parent in today's culture. 

So the contention continues and even grows as the parent tries to control the child's behavior by reminding them who is in charge, threatening to take away privileges, and using any form of threats and fear to "make the child learn" to be respectful.

And how is that working out?  It's not.

And I get it, I've been there, and I've done the same things.

But it never really works.

What they get instead, is a child who is now even more angry, more resentful and more resistant to change.

So the contention grows, and the relationship gets worse.   The child withdraws more, acts out more and is always the one to blame when the kid is having any kind of trouble. 

As a parent-child relationship coach, I hear about these kinds of interactions every day.  And I've definitely been through them with my own kids as early as age 4 and beyond.

Here's what I've learned that has massively changed my life and those of my clients.

A child's strongest way of communicating is through their behavior, not their words.

So when your child is acting negatively in any way, it's their way of telling you they need more connection.  They are feeling empty.

If they seem to be contentious, angry, irritable, or frustrated a lot... they need more connection.

If they are hiding out in their rooms, not responding when you talk to them, and avoiding you... it's their way of saying they feel empty inside.

If they are lying, blaming others, or never willing to take responsibility for themselves, it's because at their core they don't feel like they are enough, and they have to try to protect themselves.

So it's not about the corrections they need, the consequences they deserve, or the poor character they are showing.

It's all about the connection they are lacking.

And there is so so much as a parent that we can do about that!